saying goodbye

On January 16, our beloved little friend, Marjorie, passed away tragically and unexpectedly. Our hearts are absolutely broken, and we are grieving along with all of her family and friends; to know this sweet little girl was to love her, and her loss is felt by all. We feel grateful that we were able to spend such a special Christmas Eve with Marjorie and her family, and we will forever treasure those magical memories.

Marjorie was a beautiful little girl with more passion and wonder packed into her petite little self than you could ever imagine.  Her little friends, our sweet Harper included, were drawn to Marjorie's light.  Our lives are brighter for having known her.  

Here are some of the memories we have been holding especially dear lately:

Marjorie the pumpkin and Harper as Anna

This past Halloween, we partied with all the little friends and even did a ghost parade outside!  It was the sweetest thing to see everyone in costume.  Here, Marjorie is a pumpkin, and Harper is Princess Anna from the movie Frozen.  Marjorie and Harper are basically physical opposites--petite little m and tall little h--but they sure did have a blast together.  I remember that, when Marjorie was first learning to talk, she would always exclaim "Happa! Happa!" when she saw Harper at church or out and about.  Harper would giggle with delight.  When we took music class together on Saturday mornings last year, they would sometimes run like little banshees around the room.  It's possible that their music teacher wasn't quite as amused as they were, but how can you put a stop to that kind of delight?   I didn't often try. 

Harper as an angel and Marjorie as a shepherd
for our Christmas Eve nativity

We spent Christmas Eve with Marjorie's family, the Staples, at their house, and our friends, the Lloyds, were there as well. It was perhaps the most magical Christmas Eve that I can remember. The Christmas tree in their front window truly made the whole house glow. Everything was festive and exciting, and our kids were all like happy little toy tops, spinning and buzzing throughout the house and only occasionally colliding, mostly in laughter. Watching our kids dress up in costume to act out the nativity, and seeing the little girls in their Christmas jammies, nestled together on Marjorie’s little chair, made my heart so full I felt it might burst. Everything was perfect. Those memories feel both close and far away now, but I feel very blessed to have shared those precious moments with our friends and their beautiful daughter.

Marjorie, Harper, and Brenn
wearing smiles and Christmas jammies

Harper and Marjorie at Beaver Brook, Summer 2013

This photo was taken at our church ward's closing social in 2013, at the very beginning of the summer.  The closing social is always a bittersweet time, as some old friends undoubtedly move away, and new friends begin to trickle in.  We were picnicking at Beaver Brook, and families had blankets and chairs spread out near the stream.  Harper was in her element, running from group to group and begging food.  Dallin caught this tender moment between Harper (left) and Marjorie (right), the wonder and curiosity of tiny little friends so apparent.  The best part is that they are holding hands.  I remember driving Marjorie and her mom, my friend Mary, to the airport to catch a flight that same summer; when we glanced in the backseat, Harper and Marjorie were holding hands, car seat to car seat.  The friendship between little children feels so pure and true.  I love that they are not afraid to show their love, to make friends quickly and enjoy every moment.

Marjorie (left) and Harper (right)
holding hands en route to Logan Airport

Marjorie was one of the first little friends to meet Hunter after we got home from the hospital.  Mary and Marjorie stopped by to visit one afternoon while I was home on my maternity leave.  Harper happened to be asleep at the time.  Before they moved this past fall, Marjorie's house was down the street and around the corner from ours so we passed it almost daily; Harper would always ask, "Mom, is Marjorie home?  What is she doing?"  So I knew she would be disappointed to miss Marjorie's visit that afternoon.  But Marjorie busied herself right away, pushing Harper's baby doll around in the stroller, playing with toys.  One of the many special things about Marjorie was that she always had a definite sense of purpose and confidence beyond her years.  That day, she was also curious about the real baby, asleep in his little rocker.  Her little brother, Teddy, was born last summer so this was good practice for her!  I hope that Hunter and Teddy can grow into the same fun friendship that Harper and Marjorie shared.

Marjorie meets Hunter for the first time

I never want to forget these moments, precious snapshots in time.  When our beloved ones leave us too early, our memories are what we have left, and we keep them in our hearts forever this way.  I want Harper to always remember her little friend, to talk about the memories, to know that she is waiting in Heaven.

The day that we found out that Marjorie had passed away, when Dallin got home from work we sat down together with Harper and Hunter to tell them what happened.  I had rushed out of the house earlier that afternoon, leaving Harper with my sister and mom, as soon as I had found out; so she knew something was wrong.  Children always know.

After we told her, Harper asked us whether Marjorie had died while she was sleeping or when she woke up, and Dallin explained that she had been sleeping. Harper was quiet for a moment and then asked, “Will I die when I go to sleep?”

The tears spilled out of my eyes as I told her that I hoped that it would be a long time until we were in heaven, that it was our job to live a happy, righteous life so that we could someday return to heaven and see our family and friends who were waiting for us there. Harper answered, “Mom, when I go to heaven, I will see Marjorie and my big brother, Rex. I’m going to run so fast and give them such a big hug.”

Our hearts are broken for our friends who have lost their beautiful little girl. Like Dallin and me, they too had lost a baby in the late stages of pregnancy, before Marjorie.  Marjorie was a joyful gift after deep sadness, "the girl of [their] dreams."  Like many others,  I am still in complete disbelief that Marjorie is gone.  We still feel her love all around us.  Our lives will be forever brighter for having known Marjorie, for sharing in her light, and we will always, always keep her in our hearts.