We rang in the New Year quietly this year, with movies and Chinese food. Just like last year, I was sick! Our grand plans of touring the ice sculptures downtown and family brunch vanished, replaced by back-to-back TV shows viewed from the couch. Still, 2015 is here!
We had no snow for the first part of the month, until after Martin Luther King Day weekend. Over that holiday weekend, our friends lost their beautiful little daughter, Marjorie, suddenly and unexpectedly. The week after, the snow came; somehow, it seemed fitting. Harper made a snow angel for her little friend up in Heaven.
It was mid-month when Marjorie passed away, but reflecting back on January now, it's all that I can think of. I think it's all that anyone can think of; everyone has been so profoundly impacted by the loss of this special, passionate little girl. My friend, Mary, Marjorie's mother, is one of the best people I know. She is always bringing friends together, planning fun activities for our children and us. She has always been example to me as a friend, a mother, a wife. During Marjorie's life, Mary made sure she experienced everything. Marjorie was not even 2 1/2 years old, but I can honestly say that her mom made it so that she experienced more than your average person does in 20 years. Now their family has all of those memories, those beautiful experiences, to look back on and hold dear.
I hope to do a better job at helping my children experience as much as they possibly can, to be more spontaneous, to worry less about laundry and more about trips to the park. New Year's resolutions aside, I hope to remember what's important, what is worthwhile, why we are here. I look at my children now, and sometimes I feel afraid; I want them to stay with me. I know that's what we all want, and now more than ever, I am reminded that time is precious and that none of can know just how long we have.
Here is a story in pictures of some of the special memories we have been making so far this year:
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| Tay and Harper, walking to the library |
Story time at the library! During the vacation week, Harper was thrilled that her friend, Taylor, was home from school and got to play with them at daycare. They took a special trip to the local library branch to for story time and art. I could tell that Harper felt like such a big kid, to be able to walk there with her friends and teacher. She is such a tender little girl, and I just marvel at her excitement for friends and activities.
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| Harper on her first day of primary; you can see that she's more than a little bit excited. |
Harper started primary at church! She is so excited to be a sunbeam. I would love to be a fly on the wall during primary, to see her take it all in. In typical Harper fashion, when we pick her up at the end of the third hour, she will have shed her sweater, her shoes, her hair bow--and will be looking like a wild little banshee. This year, our church meeting time is 2-5:00pm. This is basically the worst time slot ever, especially during these dark winter months when the sun sets at 4:00pm. We are all pretty much exhausted by the time we get home, especially with Harper giving up her nap. In 2015, Sundays will mean early dinner and early bedtime.
Winter means playing inside. A lot. Our house is a complete wreck 99% of the time, but I am trying to be more okay with that--not that I have much choice in the matter. We do have a lot of fun though. We dress up, we color, we look forward to bath time. It's the little things that will get us through these long, dark, cold months.
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| Playing dress up: blue socks and pink feathered high-heels--ooh la la! |
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| Getting organized |
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| Splish splash |
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| Playing inside their Christmas castle from Grandpa Wilson |
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| "Mom, how do you spell 'mall?'" |
I love that Harper and Hunter are friends. She almost always speaks to him to lovingly and patiently, and when they start giggling Dallin and I can't help but join in--even when we don't know why they're laughing. They have the best time together, even if they're just sitting on a Costco case of paper towels eating cookies in their jammies. How lucky are we?
School days! We love Tuesdays and Thursdays. Harper and Hunter look forward to time with their teachers, Becca and Nicole, and all of their little playmates. We feel so blessed that our children are cared for in such a loving, creative environment. Dallin and I have been talking about whether or not we will send Harper to a formal preschool in the fall. She will be turning 4, but since she has a late birthday, she will still have two more years before she enters kindergarten. My biggest hesitation about sending her to preschool is that she is just so happy where she is right now. Right now, Harper and Hunter's Tuesdays and Thursdays are full of laughter, art projects, creative play, and hugs. We still have some time before we need to make a decision, and I know that regardless of what we decide, she will be her happy little self. In the meantime, we continue to feel deeply grateful that our children have formed loving relationships with other special adults outside the home. It takes a village, and ours is a very, very special one.
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| Harper, Alice, and Hunter at school |
A few days before the snow came, the Hs and I met some friends for lunch on a Friday at one of our favorite kid-friendly restaurants in Cambridge. On the way home, we passed our favorite park, and Harper asked if we could stop and play. It was already past Hunter's nap time, and I was tempted to say no--but something stopped me. To have a Friday afternoon free to play with my kids at the otherwise deserted park felt like a blessing. So that's what we did. The light was beautiful, that cold but golden winter light, and the kids ran around like the lovable little maniacs that they are. Harper had been at dance class before lunch so she was still in her ballet tutu, though fortunately she had leggings on instead of tights that day. The tutu came off quickly, of course. A few days later, the snow came. I am grateful for the memories of these smiling faces and our impromptu park playdate. Soon, the playground will be buried under the snow, and it will be months before we can have a park outing like that again. I have always loved that famous quote, "We do not remember days, we remember moments." I am grateful for the beautiful moment that I was able to share with my children, and it is one that I hold close during a time when everything feels far too fragile.
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| Girl in a tutu! Off and running. |
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| Little Bud, driving the train |
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| I can't believe that my littlest h is already 16 months |
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| He would follow his sister to the moon and back. |
Then the snow came. It was a little dusting at first, and then more fell. H and h were so excited to get bundled up in snow pants, jackets, hats, and boots. If only they would keep their mittens on! When there was just barely enough snow on the ground, we got the sled out and coasted along the driveway and road. We made snow angels and memories.
Then more time passed, and more snow fell. And more. The snowbanks grew nearly as tall as Hunter! And wait, it's only January. We took a family sledding trip over on the hill near our house. It was FREEZING, but the kids loved it. They really do enjoy playing in the snow, and it doesn't seem to bother them when their boots fill up with snow and slush, and their limbs are freezing. Harper also loves being outside with her little neighbor friends while the grown-ups are shoveling. Here are some of our snowy adventures:
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| The first snowfall--and so excited for the sled. |
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| A snow angel for Marjorie |
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| The maiden voyage--down the driveway |
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| Watching our hero shovel snow, snow, and more snow. |
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| Hunter can't believe how much snow there is! Neither can we. |
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| Sledding selfie! |
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| Harper (right) and her neighborhood friends, hanging in the snowbanks |
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| Snowflakes outside, snowflakes inside. |
Since Hunter can't maneuver as easily in the snow and crawling through snowbanks just isn't the best idea on the planet, it's been sweet to spend some one-on-one time inside with him while Harper is out with Dallin when he shovels. At 16 months, Hunter wants in on all the action so it's hard for him to have to watch his big sister through the window sometimes. He is enjoying coloring and crafting more, and he has taken an interest in Harper's baby dolls, carrying them around and trying to feed them snack. He loves to share food and always wants me to hold him while I'm eating--which is tricky and not super convenient. Hunter loves to read stories, perhaps even more than he likes to pull books out of the bookshelf. Sometimes I find him sitting on the floor of his room, looking at books, quiet and content. Hunter is equal parts wild and snuggly, part little man and part little snuggle bear. Hunter is also sort-of walking. Really, I know he has been able to do it for months now, but as with Harper, he's just not sure he's ready to commit yet; so he drops down to his knees and crawls. Sometimes he just plain walks on his knees. I'm sure this degree of willpower will serve him well in life. We couldn't possibly love this feisty little sweetheart more. Not only is he the king of all wild things, but he is the king of our hearts. Harper often laughs, "Oh that little man!"
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| Pointing to baby's nose |
Being inside so much is hard for the kids, with as much energy as they have. We are lucky to have our amazing friends, the Deardens, living right upstairs from us. Harper and Hunter often go up and play with them, especially with our beloved Lucie, in the afternoon. This is also a Mommy gift because I get some time to clean up the wreckage and contemplate dinner. Harper recently received this traditional Indian outfit as a hand-me-down from the Deardens, specifically Lucie, who wore it when she was little. Lucie gave it to Harper during yet another snow storm, and so now we call it "blizzard couture." She totally rocks it.
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| Harper at her "Teeny Dancers" class-- she always asks for the pink scarf, of course. |
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| Dance class friends on a snowy day! |
So much has happened this month that 2014 already feels really far away. We have already made some beautiful memories in the New Year, but right now, what we are feeling most of all is heartbreak. We miss our little friend, and we ache beyond measure for her family.
At Marjorie's memorial service earlier this month, a quote from Gordon B. Hinckley, the 15th President of our church (the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) and also Marjorie's great grandfather, was printed on the back of the program:
You are creatures of divinity; you are daughters of the Almighty.
Limitless is your potential.
Magnificent is your future, if you will take control of it.
The whole gamut of human endeavor is now open to women.
There is not anything that you cannot do if you will set your mind to it.
You can include in the dream of the woman you would like to be a picture
of one qualified to serve society and make a significant contribution to the
world of which she will be a part.
For you, my dear friends, the sky is the limit.
You can be excellent in every way.
You can be first class.
Respect yourself.
Polish and refine whatever talents the Lord has given you.
Go forward in life with a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face,
but with great and strong purpose in your heart. Love life and look for its
opportunities, and forever and always be loyal to the Church.
This message was part of a talk that President Hinckley delivered to the women of our church in 2003. Though intended especially for women, this message is one that I hope to share with both my children, my daughter and my son, as they grow. I want to be the kind of mother who helps them achieve the magnificence that they deserve; I want them to realize their limitless potential.
As we go forward, we want to remember Marjorie always. Her legacy will be one of love, and we will keep her in our hearts throughout this New Year and forever.
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